So this is where I’m at…

Last week was hell. We had our version of high-stakes testing.  In Massachusetts, we call it MCAS.  I teach special education so all of my students get accommodations like reference sheets and calculators which can be difficult logistically to manage.  Needless to say, I was a little stressed.  Plus I have students who even though they’re in middle school have this constant need for attention.  Middle school students love to see you sweat so while I’m counting test booklets and rulers and filling out forms, they choose to ask me irrelevant questions or tell me some story about their crazy time after school.

So I go home totally frazzled to my two-year old, my also tired husband and a messy house.  I then have my two-year old demanding my attention as well as I’m trying to do all the after school/daycare things like emptying our bags, setting up lunches, figuring out what’s for dinner, you know.  He’s in this stage where he climbs all over me, kneeing me in my still painful c-section scar and I’m like enough already, you know?  Plus, he only lets me do things like change his diaper, sit with him to watch a movie, put him to bed, etc. which kind of makes my husband drop back when I’m home and sets up a weird, stressful, dynamic between us.

So at the end of last week I sort of lost it.  My son wouldn’t go to sleep and I’ll admit I snapped at him a little.  I yelled at my husband for “not helping”and was basically a little unreasonable.  I looked around online for other blogs about being a mom and a teacher because I feel like it’s a really unique situation.  I just didn’t see a lot out there that really talked about what a weird situation it can be.  There’s very little down time as a teacher and you’re surrounded by children all day and I have trouble sometimes adjusting to not having any down time when I get home.  I want to be with my son as much as possible but I know I need to carve out a little time for myself.

I guess I want this blog to be a support and a sounding board for all those mom/teachers doing the same thing.  If anybody is reading this, even if you’re not a teacher but a working mom, I’d love to hear how you handle the balance.