this moment

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.-SouleMama

photo (1)A beautiful thoughtful gift from my mentee teacher during a tension filled week (the end of the school year can be fraught with tension). So needed. So appreciated!


Mother’s Day

It was a really good weekend. We stayed close to home. My little boy is going through something right now. Some sort of transition which just breaks my heart and makes me so sad. There’s so much new independence with turning 4, he’s dressing himself, writing, starting to read, so so busy at school. I guess with that maybe comes fear? Plus he got really really sick two weeks ago and maybe had a hard time transitioning back into the routine. Whatever it is, a lot of old fears and anxieties are coming back, full force. We’re trying to breathe through it, but it’s hard.

But this post helped.  So this weekend we stayed close to home. It was kind of rainy and cloudy so we spent time with his marbles (his new obsession) and in the garden just playing. “Bare feet?” he asks, his eyes twinkling. Of course. We checked out a yard sale, a quiet playground, but mostly just stayed home. He relaxed and didn’t seem as worried.

And we relaxed too. Whole Food sushi was the Mother’s Day dinner. (By the way, that’s a great alternative to ordering sushi out, cheaper and more choice.) We played outside in the evenings and he fell into bed happy and asleep.

Has anyone else experienced this almost-4 anxiety? What did you do? Just wait through it?

She disappeared…

This is a surreal day. One town over there is a manhunt for a terrorist. Oblivious, I walked my child to school and I’m glad he is there, locked in and safe. My plans for the day are suspended and I am in my home listening to the news as I write this.

And I know, I disappeared for a long time. (A year?) It’s been a hard school year. My job changed and I have been wearing many different hats, teaching many different curriculums. It has also been the winter of illness. Between the three of us, someone has been sick for most of the winter and early spring. Right now it’s me.

And the writing job I had took up a lot of my time and maybe satisfied that creativity bug I was having. I also started some journals and sketchbooks as I saw Z drawing and writing (letters!) and was inspired to do the same right along side him. I moved inward instead of outward.

I’m not terribly sure at this time what I want this blog to be exactly. I’m not really a homesteader although I love reading those blogs. I’m not much of a photographer which I think adds a lot to a blog. So what am I?

But I have some ideas percolating that I want to share. Most specifically, designing a free writing curriculum, less based on graphic organizers and more on just creating, for kids with learning disabilities. And I want to show you the spaces we’ve created for Z around our home for writing and art which he loves so, so much.  So I want to be back.

And I hope you will be back with me. 🙂

Right Now I’m..

loving going to the farmer’s market and buying less because I’m growing it in my garden.

shaken up by last week’s storms and thinking I really need to get more insurance.

enjoying Z’s interest in taking care of the garden with his watering can and spray bottle.

happy to have siblings and cousins around this summer.

looking forward to some couple time and writing time the next few mornings.

eating tons of summer salads.

contemplating a trip to see more family soon.

proud of Z’s new big boyness.

Have a wonderful week!

He’s a Big Boy Now

Here’s my new big boy. Today he gave up the last na-na (pacifier) for good. He agreed to throw it out in the trash in exchange for a trip to the toy store. This event was preceded by much discussion.  We’d been playing with the idea for a while, he’d even been sleeping most nights without it. We’d thrown a couple out after they were “broken”. (I cut the tips off.) And we had talked and talked about saying no more na-na seriously for like a month.

I try not to to stress the whole “big boy” thing. But it is a struggle. There seem to be two schools of thought, child-centered or pushing them along a little. I admit, I didn’t love the idea of him going to preschool still needing a na-na for nap time. I also felt like it was getting manipulative. We had limited it pretty successfully to naptime and bedtime and he started pushing those limits a bit. I wanted to follow what he wanted to do, at the same time I do feel like he needs a little push now and then.

So he threw the na-na out this morning, we hiked, and then went to the toy store and he fell asleep in the car. He didn’t stay asleep when I put him down and then he asked for his na-na. I told him we had thrown the last one away and that’s why he had a new train.

Oh and he just wept. It was like he was in mourning. He just wept and wept. I know he had to process it and I’m not sure if I had waited if it would have been any easier. And he did bounce back after a trip to the farmer’s market and playing in his pool with a friend. Tonight he fell asleep, no problem, although we’ll see how the night goes.

It was a triumphant, but sad day.